Frightened jumping
This way that way
Only knowing my fragmented terrified
Beyond twitchy self I
Bump off edges
Jarring jangled
Ricocheting
At the mercy of life
At the mercy of me
My pinball self
Let me rest
I long for a kinder way
When we walk past Big Issue sellers or rough sleepers we probably expect to see men. However, I recently heard from two different homeless charities that there is an increase in women on the streets. Why do women become homeless, and how do their experiences differ to those of men sleeping rough?
For a person of any gender homelessness is caused by a combination of events. But there are some triggers which affect women more often, including fleeing trauma in their home, fleeing from a violent partner, sexual abuse, and growing up in care. There are women sleeping in cars, on the edge of our society, living feral existences, sometimes for years. It is time to think about them.
Women experiencing homelessness are even more vulnerable than men, often suffering from increased mental health issues as well as drug or alcohol dependencies. When in crisis, women are more likely to turn to friends or family for support. When this is not possible for them, women may face stigma when they end up on the streets.
Such women may appear streetwise and in control, but there is so often a gap between what is presented and the unmet needs of the homeless women who survive but are unable to thrive. Their (often hidden) vulnerability is likely to be expressed in a sense of charge or energy, humans with their foot stuck on the accelerator without the ability to pull back. And often, it’s anxiety that is in the driving seat, screaming its insistence.
A woman trapped inside may feel on the edge of themselves and so terrified she may feel like the pinball in the above poem (from the first chapter of my book 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma).She may appear dissociated – fragmented, jumpy, cut off – or out of control, but underneath be like a frenetic, terrified small child who is shockingly unprotected.
Hidden homelessness also includes women working in brothels, or as sex workers. Sometimes, women enter this field to avoid rough sleeping. Likely to have had harmful relationships with others in the past, they may hope their sexual relationships with men will bring them love and care. Trauma begets trauma, and due to lack of regulation, these dangerous circumstances can trap vulnerable women and prevent them from accessing essential support. An entanglement of vulnerability, trauma and survival.
Women who are sleeping rough are at a risk of being raped or sexually assaulted. so their situation is incredibly precarious and dangerous. They hide in order to be safe, so may disguise themselves or sleep in hidden places making it more difficult for teams to find them.
How can we help those who are hidden and provide safe spaces for women in a society where they have been so profoundly failed? Homeless Oxfordshire and The Connection at St Martin’s in London are focusing on these questions, thinking about these questions, fund-raising, seeking out training and raising awareness to research and provide vital care, increase provision and offer sanctuary. These organisations deserve our support. We need to mind the gap.