On 29 March, I attended the book launch of fellow Jessica-Kingsley-published author, Dr Martin Brunet. His book, Your Worry Makes Sense, was introduced in conversation at Guildford Baptist Church by the banks of the River Wey.
We can surely all resonate with anxiety in some form or other, and I was particularly taken with Martin’s gentle approach, setting the stage for his audience of 200 people to be led carefully into the subject. His starting place is so normalising and accepting: that our worry, when we dig under the surface, makes sense and is never foolish. So often, he says, our anxiety has a story and a logic and is actually trying to protect us.
The real difficulty with anxiety is more to do with ‘volume control’. In the past I have likened anxiety to a snowball growing as it rolls downhill until its proportions become unmanageable. Martin uses a different metaphor: that anxiety can become our master or gaoler, leading us to avoid or to become ensnared by its messages and sometimes driving us towards burn-out. There are three chapters of his book devoted to the subject of burnout, which he likens to developing a stress fracture on a long march.
Martin’s skill is to show us difficult things: how avoidance is flawed as a strategy, binding us with silken ribbons and potentially limiting our world and futures. We can sometimes blame ourselves but anxiety is not our fault. This message is a wonderful antidote to the shame and guilt that are so corrosive of our mental health.
Martin Burnet’s book is a joy to read. By interweaving personal narrative, case studies and what he says to patients, the strength of his approach is the accessibility of the ideas. The book is full of pithy soundbites. He never ducks complexity, and accepts that anxiety can be like navigating a minefield. ‘Motivation wanes while habits strengthen’ shows us that anxiety’s protective messages can be persuasive and convincing. Changing might only mean taking small steps but we will need to persevere. What might help us find a way through the minefield is to step back and study our patterns and see anxiety from a distance, perhaps befriending it, seeing how sneaky it can be and thinking of our anxiety with humour, maybe as a silly monster – Wilbur – who we can carry around in our pocket or bag.
Such thinking can encourage motivation to make changes. Dr Martin has a light touch and writes with compassion, of giving the reader and sufferer the levers of control through understanding, and permission-giving illumination. The book is full of ideas about making small changes, sometimes introducing paradoxical shifts in thinking. The tone is compassionate and kind. As a therapist skilled in working with mental health for thirty years, I find it heartening to read words from a doctor who listens to his patients, and wants to share his ideas and findings.
His book is timely. April is ‘Stress Awareness Month’, an important annual event established in 1992, dedicated to raising awareness about stress, its causes, and effective ways to manage it. This year’s theme #LeadWithLove emphasises the transformative power of kindness and compassion and unconditional positive regard towards ourselves and others. Martin’s approach models this.
To access further resources go to The Stress Management Society’s official website. You can also find many resources on Martin Brunet’s instagram posts in the form of numerous reels on anxiety and wider aspects of mental health prevention.